In my early walk with
God, I remember struggling with doubts. I really believed in my heart, but I
had nagging doubts that would attack my mind. I knew from the Word it was
essential that I guard my heart with all diligence.[1] I prayed
about the doubts I had for quite some time. I thought surely I couldn’t just
continue to call myself a Christian if I had doubts. Didn’t that make me a
hypocrite, saying that I was a Christian, proclaiming Christ, and yet behind
the scenes doubting the faith that I professed? This led me to consider leaving
the faith. One evening, I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit within me to
pick up a book, The Case for Faith,
written by Lee Strobel, which was sitting on my night table. I said, “Bah, I
don’t feel like reading that book tonight. I didn’t really plan to read that
book tonight.” However, I felt this insistent prompting. So I said something
like, “Okay, okay! I will open it, but I don’t even know where to look! This is
a fairly big book! How am I supposed to know what to read?”
I decided to go to the
table of contents and read through the list of chapters to see if something
stood out. As I read through each chapter title, I landed on one named “I Still
Have Doubts, so I Can’t Be a Christian.” I knew enough to know that the author
was seeking to help people who wished they could believe in Jesus but wrestled to
do so due to intellectual stumbling blocks, and Christians who simply struggled
with their faith in God. So I naturally deduced that this particular chapter
was intended to help bring peace to believers who still experienced some
doubts. Consequently, I knew right away what God was saying. He was telling me
that I could still be a Christian even if I had some doubts! So I went right
ahead and read what the author had to say in that chapter, and the content I
read indeed supported my staying in the faith in spite of my doubts. Can you
imagine the tragedy had I left the faith because of some doubts?
One day, I was standing
in my home office inquiring of the Lord about Hebrews 12:2, which essentially
says that Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith. This Scripture had
brought some peace to my heart prior to that day because it gave me hope that I
could depend on Jesus to keep and to help my faith. I also knew that different
versions of the Bible translated this passage differently. I wanted it to mean
that Jesus was the Author, the Enabler, the Provider, the Sustainer, the Helper,
the Perfecter and the Finisher of my faith. I was tired of fearing to lose my
faith. I was tired of trying to keep my faith in my own strength. I needed to
know that I could rely on someone, something more stable and more powerful than
I was in the area of my faith, and really, in every area that concerned me.
Suddenly, as I was seeking God on that Scripture, I sensed how supernatural
Christianity really is. It didn’t last long. But for a brief moment, I believe
the Lord allowed me to recognize how supernatural our faith is, how it is of the
Spirit of God, and how it does not, nor can it, originate from ourselves apart
from Him.
In trying to believe
with our own strength, we are in the works of the flesh and we are showing
independence from God. Christianity is supernatural from the very beginning to
the very end, and is lived by reliance on the Spirit of God. It is true that
Christianity excludes all boasting.[2] I have
come to realize that if I want to stand and remain standing, I need to trust
and depend on Christ in everything and for everything. I have come to
understand that this principle even applies to my ability to believe.
We cannot believe by
our own strength. And the Bible confirms that by saying that faith comes by
hearing and hearing by the Word of God.[3] If you
struggle with doubt and unbelief, make sure to spend regular quality time in
the Word of God. And ask God to open your understanding to the Word you are
reading. We need the Holy Spirit to give us revelation concerning the
Scriptures.
According
to Matthew 16:13–17, knowing who Jesus is comes from revelation knowledge given
by the Father:
“Now when Jesus went into the region of Caesarea
Philippi, He asked His disciples, who do people say that the Son of Man is? And
they answered, some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and others
Jeremiah or one of the prophets. He said to them, but who do you [yourselves]
say that I am? Simon Peter replied, you are the Christ, the Son of the living
God. Then Jesus answered him, blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) are
you, Simon Bar-Jonah. For flesh and blood [men] have not revealed this to you,
but My Father Who is in heaven.”[4]
This Scripture and
others show us that it is God the Father Himself who draws us to Jesus, which
in turn enables us to believe.[5] Without
revelation from God, we cannot believe in Christ. Therefore, if you are trying
to fight your doubts and convince yourself through human reasoning, you will
fail. Again, only God can enable you by His Spirit. What you need to do,
instead, is ask Him to help your unbelief and trust Him to do it.[6]
Faith is
an inborn part of who you are as a born-again child of God. It is an integral
part of your new you. It is natural (or should I say, supernatural) for you,
who are in Christ, to believe. After all, you are a believer. Here is how Simon
Peter puts it in 2 Peter 1:1:
“Simon Peter, a bond-servant and apostle of Jesus
Christ, To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the
righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ.”[7]
Now all you need to do
is nurture and feed your faith—studying the Word of God, spending time with the
Lord through prayer, spending time in praise and worship, reflecting on the
things the Lord has done for us in the past, witnessing to others, attending
church, and fellowshipping with brothers and sisters in Christ, are all
powerful means to help foster our faith.
I remember seeking God
regarding the doubts that I was periodically struggling with throughout my
Christian walk. On one particular occasion, after praying quite earnestly for
about two to three months, the Lord spoke to me one night in a dream and said
these life-changing words: “It takes time to go from faith to conviction, and
God is patient.” The amazing thing about these words was that my main prayer
had been: “Lord convince me!” The fact that God used the word conviction (which means the state of
being convinced[8])
instead of the word faith really
ministered to me. Romans 1:17 KJV should help shine more light on God’s
statement to me that night: “For therein is the righteousness
of God revealed from faith to faith:
as it is written, The just shall live by faith.”[9]
(Emphasis mine.) I see conviction as the mature level of faith where no doubts
remain.
Now if I experience doubts in an area, or if I do not feel as convinced
as I wish I’d be, I remember these words and no longer feel condemned about it.
It doesn’t mean that I am not in the faith, nor does it necessarily mean that I
have no faith; but instead, I am already in the faith, and I need my faith to
grow from faith to conviction (the level of mature faith). So I pray to God to
increase my faith, to strengthen my faith, to help my faith, and to convince me
in the area of need; and He does.
Now be encouraged,
God’s got your faith! Just rest in Him, the Author and Finisher of your faith.
And remember, there is hope! There is
a way out.
—Kathleen
Kaczmarek
[1] See Proverbs 4:23.
[2] See Romans 3:27.
[3] See Romans 10:17 NKJV.
[4] Matthew 16:13–17 AMPC.
[5] See John 6:44; John 6:65.
[6] See Mark 9:24.
[7] 2 Peter 1:1 NASB.
[8] https://www.wordreference.com/definition/conviction
WordReference Random House Unabridged Dictionary of American
English © 2018 5.
[9] Romans 1:17 KJV.
