Finding Freedom from the Fear of Losing One’s Faith

In my early walk with God, I remember struggling with doubts. I really believed in my heart, but I had nagging doubts that would attack my mind. I knew from the Word it was essential that I guard my heart with all diligence.[1] I prayed about the doubts I had for quite some time. I thought surely I couldn’t just continue to call myself a Christian if I had doubts. Didn’t that make me a hypocrite, saying that I was a Christian, proclaiming Christ, and yet behind the scenes doubting the faith that I professed? This led me to consider leaving the faith. One evening, I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit within me to pick up a book, The Case for Faith, written by Lee Strobel, which was sitting on my night table. I said, “Bah, I don’t feel like reading that book tonight. I didn’t really plan to read that book tonight.” However, I felt this insistent prompting. So I said something like, “Okay, okay! I will open it, but I don’t even know where to look! This is a fairly big book! How am I supposed to know what to read?”

I decided to go to the table of contents and read through the list of chapters to see if something stood out. As I read through each chapter title, I landed on one named “I Still Have Doubts, so I Can’t Be a Christian.” I knew enough to know that the author was seeking to help people who wished they could believe in Jesus but wrestled to do so due to intellectual stumbling blocks, and Christians who simply struggled with their faith in God. So I naturally deduced that this particular chapter was intended to help bring peace to believers who still experienced some doubts. Consequently, I knew right away what God was saying. He was telling me that I could still be a Christian even if I had some doubts! So I went right ahead and read what the author had to say in that chapter, and the content I read indeed supported my staying in the faith in spite of my doubts. Can you imagine the tragedy had I left the faith because of some doubts?

One day, I was standing in my home office inquiring of the Lord about Hebrews 12:2, which essentially says that Jesus is the Author and Finisher of our faith. This Scripture had brought some peace to my heart prior to that day because it gave me hope that I could depend on Jesus to keep and to help my faith. I also knew that different versions of the Bible translated this passage differently. I wanted it to mean that Jesus was the Author, the Enabler, the Provider, the Sustainer, the Helper, the Perfecter and the Finisher of my faith. I was tired of fearing to lose my faith. I was tired of trying to keep my faith in my own strength. I needed to know that I could rely on someone, something more stable and more powerful than I was in the area of my faith, and really, in every area that concerned me. Suddenly, as I was seeking God on that Scripture, I sensed how supernatural Christianity really is. It didn’t last long. But for a brief moment, I believe the Lord allowed me to recognize how supernatural our faith is, how it is of the Spirit of God, and how it does not, nor can it, originate from ourselves apart from Him.

In trying to believe with our own strength, we are in the works of the flesh and we are showing independence from God. Christianity is supernatural from the very beginning to the very end, and is lived by reliance on the Spirit of God. It is true that Christianity excludes all boasting.[2] I have come to realize that if I want to stand and remain standing, I need to trust and depend on Christ in everything and for everything. I have come to understand that this principle even applies to my ability to believe.

We cannot believe by our own strength. And the Bible confirms that by saying that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.[3] If you struggle with doubt and unbelief, make sure to spend regular quality time in the Word of God. And ask God to open your understanding to the Word you are reading. We need the Holy Spirit to give us revelation concerning the Scriptures.

According to Matthew 16:13–17, knowing who Jesus is comes from revelation knowledge given by the Father:

“Now when Jesus went into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, who do people say that the Son of Man is? And they answered, some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets. He said to them, but who do you [yourselves] say that I am? Simon Peter replied, you are the Christ, the Son of the living God. Then Jesus answered him, blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) are you, Simon Bar-Jonah. For flesh and blood [men] have not revealed this to you, but My Father Who is in heaven.”[4] 

This Scripture and others show us that it is God the Father Himself who draws us to Jesus, which in turn enables us to believe.[5] Without revelation from God, we cannot believe in Christ. Therefore, if you are trying to fight your doubts and convince yourself through human reasoning, you will fail. Again, only God can enable you by His Spirit. What you need to do, instead, is ask Him to help your unbelief and trust Him to do it.[6]

Faith is an inborn part of who you are as a born-again child of God. It is an integral part of your new you. It is natural (or should I say, supernatural) for you, who are in Christ, to believe. After all, you are a believer. Here is how Simon Peter puts it in 2 Peter 1:1:

“Simon Peter, a bond-servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who have received a faith of the same kind as ours, by the righteousness of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ.”[7]

Now all you need to do is nurture and feed your faith—studying the Word of God, spending time with the Lord through prayer, spending time in praise and worship, reflecting on the things the Lord has done for us in the past, witnessing to others, attending church, and fellowshipping with brothers and sisters in Christ, are all powerful means to help foster our faith.

I remember seeking God regarding the doubts that I was periodically struggling with throughout my Christian walk. On one particular occasion, after praying quite earnestly for about two to three months, the Lord spoke to me one night in a dream and said these life-changing words: “It takes time to go from faith to conviction, and God is patient.” The amazing thing about these words was that my main prayer had been: “Lord convince me!” The fact that God used the word conviction (which means the state of being convinced[8]) instead of the word faith really ministered to me. Romans 1:17 KJV should help shine more light on God’s statement to me that night: “For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.”[9] (Emphasis mine.) I see conviction as the mature level of faith where no doubts remain.

Now if I experience doubts in an area, or if I do not feel as convinced as I wish I’d be, I remember these words and no longer feel condemned about it. It doesn’t mean that I am not in the faith, nor does it necessarily mean that I have no faith; but instead, I am already in the faith, and I need my faith to grow from faith to conviction (the level of mature faith). So I pray to God to increase my faith, to strengthen my faith, to help my faith, and to convince me in the area of need; and He does.

Now be encouraged, God’s got your faith! Just rest in Him, the Author and Finisher of your faith. And remember, there is hope! There is a way out.

—Kathleen Kaczmarek

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[1] See Proverbs 4:23.

[2] See Romans 3:27.

[3] See Romans 10:17 NKJV.

[4] Matthew 16:13–17 AMPC.

[5] See John 6:44; John 6:65.

[6] See Mark 9:24.

[7] 2 Peter 1:1 NASB.

[8] https://www.wordreference.com/definition/conviction WordReference Random House Unabridged Dictionary of American English © 2018 5.

[9] Romans 1:17 KJV.

Overcoming the Fear of the Unpardonable Sin

Overcoming the Fear of the Unpardonable Sin

Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy [every evil, abusive, injurious speaking, or indignity against sacred things] will be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the [Holy] Spirit will not be forgiven.

—Matthew 12:31 AMP

I believe it was a year before the Lord showed me that legalism was a problem in my life, I was plagued with the fear of the unpardonable sin. I had so many blasphemous thoughts bombarding my mind. What made them so scary to me was they were swear words against the Holy Spirit. But I could see that, oftentimes, dread and fear had something to do in causing the thoughts to reoccur―and that if I could only stop fearing the thoughts, they would probably vanish or at least, their power over me would be greatly diminished. However, each recurring thought would cause me to fear the unpardonable sin; after all, hadn’t Jesus said that whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven? It caused me much agony during that period.

There were times when everything in me would cry out: God has condemned you! He has rejected you! He has spoken woe on your life! It’s too late! You have committed the unpardonable sin! You are doomed! While on the other hand, I still had some hope and some ray of light that somehow, I had not committed the unpardonable sin. However faint it was, that hope helped me dare press toward God, in spite of my strong fears. I would take this Scripture: “Against hope believed in hope.”[1][2] God being against me for sure met the requirement of “against hope believed in hope.” I would remind myself that He is the hope to the hopeless, which meant that He would be the solution to rid me of all of my fears even if those fears concerned Him. In fact, the Bible says that God is able to deliver us from all of our fears, not just a few but all.[1][3] The thought of His nature, His great love for us, and that He is a savior at heart also helped disarm such fearful thoughts. Because God was to be my helper, I began seeking Him. I was in so much inner turmoil that I asked Him to deliver me from those thoughts and from my fears.

As a result, He gave me a dream one night. In the dream, the evangelist Jesse Duplantis was a pastor of a church. There was this lady who kept judging and criticizing him freely. I was aware that this lasted for a long period of time. She constantly found something to say against him and didn’t hesitate to openly share what she thought of him. Then she would come back the next week and the next week and the next week and do the same thing: Condemn the man. However, one day, she came, as was her custom, but instead of saying something against “Jesse,” she said something against “Pastor Jesse.” The moment she spoke against Pastor Jesse, she was gone. She was no more. There was no more sign of her. And that was the dream.

In the dream, as long as the woman criticized and spoke against the man himself, she was fine, but the moment she spoke against the office, the mantle, in other words, the moment she spoke against the anointing, she was no more. Now, I am not saying that if we ever used the word “Pastor So and So” and said something not too kindly, that we have committed the unpardonable sin. The reference to the word “Pastor” in the dream had spiritual significance in that it represented the anointing. This dream helped set me free from that irrational fear. I realized that involuntary blasphemous thoughts against the Holy Spirit crossing my mind (though they certainly felt voluntary at times as fear tricked me and got the better of me) didn’t really fit the description provided to me by God in the dream. Not only that, God showed me that committing the unpardonable sin doesn’t happen overnight. But if one will keep playing with fire, keep disobeying God by devouring others and by slandering God's anointed ones, then one has to be careful that he does not touch the anointing. It is preferable to leave all men and women alone, to leave them with God, and to pray for them with a sincere heart and a humble mind. The apostle Paul said in Romans 14:4 that to his own master a servant will stand or fall. And he added that indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. Therefore, let’s be imitators of King David who had King Saul at his mercy and chose not to kill him, saying to himself, “Do not touch God’s anointed and do His prophets no harm.”[1][4]

Furthermore, in a way, the lady in the dream makes me think of the Pharisees of Jesus’ days. The Pharisees were religious, but they didn’t know God for they didn’t recognize and receive the very Son of God when He came to them in the flesh. Religious spirits are usually puffed up, and they generally love to put down and criticize people. Such are not the fruits of someone who has an intimate relationship with Christ. Jesus didn’t die to give us a religion. He died to give us salvation. The spirit of fear isn’t of God (2 Timothy 1:7). The child of God who loves God and lives in the reverential fear of the Lord doesn’t need to live in the fear committing the unpardonable sin. God is a God of the heart. Legalism, on the other hand, has no regards to the heart at all, but looks at the outward spiritual performance apart from the heart condition, intents or motives.

As I look back, I know that the fear of the unpardonable sin was all part of the devil’s evil scheme. You have to realize how powerful a tool this sort of fear is to the devil in helping him defeat God’s people. If you begin to believe you have committed the unpardonable sin, you will become hopeless and begin to give up, to return to your sins or, even worse, be utterly ruined. It will lead you down the path of destruction very fast.

We have to be careful what we allow ourselves to believe; let us consider the end result of what we choose to believe. The enemy wants us to be hopeless. However, the Bible shows that God is the hope to the hopeless.[1][5] There is a difference between being religious and having an intimate relationship with Christ. Jesus said that He will in no wise reject those who come to Him.[1][6] This means that if you want Jesus, if you want to have a relationship with Him, if you want to serve Him and to live for Him, then you have not committed the unpardonable sin or you would not have such desires.

Be encouraged dear one. The spirit of fear isn’t of God. The Bible says that there is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out all fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.[1][7] Begin to believe in and draw close to the love of God and then share that love with others. Fear cannot dwell where love abides. Rest assured that there is hope! There is a way out.

—Kathleen Kaczmarek

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[1] See Romans 7:15–23.

[2] Romans 4:18 KJV.

[3] See Psalm 34:4.

[4] See Psalm 105:15.

[5] See Isaiah 61:3.

[6] See John 6:37.

[7] See 1 John 4:18.