Fighting from a Standpoint of Victory

One of the first steps to victory is to, by faith, stop labeling ourselves and defining ourselves with religious OCD. The way we see ourselves is crucial. It is hard to rise above what we believe we are. I am not saying we need to be weird and awkward with the people who are aware of our situation, but I am saying that once we make a firm decision to trust God with our current condition and set our mind that we will be free with God’s help, we don’t want to keep confessing OCD. Instead we want to begin to speak of those things that are not as though they were (see Romans 4:17)—renewing and transforming our minds—being renewed from the inside out little by little—looking ahead toward the goal which is complete freedom. In Christ, we are a new creation altogether; the old has passed away, behold the new has come (see 2 Corinthians 5:17). I remember the times during my recovery process when Paul, my husband, was understandably concerned because I had yet had another restless night. Though I was the one undergoing the torture, God enabled me to understand the importance of speaking faith. I understood life and death were in the power of the tongue (see Proverbs 18:21) and speaking defeat would only strengthen my condition and delay victory over it. Though my flesh would have loved to tell Paul many times how anxious I felt and how hard this entire recovery process was for me—describing in detail to him the horror and the weariness I experienced from my inner battles—I was determined not to keep confessing my fears and anxieties. I chose to believe now and my feelings would catch up later. There were times however when it was important for me to share with Paul or leaders in the church for them to pray for me and to provide some comfort. Through it all, however, whether when sharing with carefully chosen people or whether facing the storm alone with God through faith, I became more and more aware of the need to fight from a standpoint of victory—standing on the fact that Christ had already won the victory for me on the cross and therefore reminding myself that freedom was only a matter of time. Today, I also understand that in difficult situations, it is important to refuse self-pity. Recovery took time, commitment, tremendous determination, unyielding endurance, patience and relentlessness. But God saw me through, and He will see you through, too.

Every victory finds its source at the cross. Jesus said, “It is finished!” He has already said ‘yes’ to your deliverance a little more than 2000 years ago. He won the victory for you at Calvary. Now it is only a matter of time—as you learn to appropriate the work that Christ did for you at the cross through faith—a faith that He provides (see Romans 12:3). It will be a battle, and you will need to fight. Understanding that the weapons of your warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds (see 2 Corinthians 10:4) is essential to your victory. You will need to learn how to wear your whole armor, the armor God supplies (see Ephesians 6:10-18). You are facing your Goliath (see the story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17) and through Christ, you will win against him and defeat him because the Bible says through Jesus we always have the victory (see 2 Corinthians 2:14).

I understand that it may feel overwhelming to think you will need to fight and put effort into this whole recovery process, but believe me when I say that it is better to suffer for a while as a result of the fight with the understanding that this will last only for a season, than to suffer for the rest of your life as a result of the torment experienced from religious OCD. I also understand that some blogs may cause triggers. I experienced triggers too when God revealed to me what the root cause of my problem was. However, it is of utmost importance that you do not refrain from reading them in their entirety. John 8:31-32 teaches us that if we abide in God’s Word, we will know the truth and the truth will make us free. We do need to confront our fears and face them head-on to ultimately experience freedom. Unless we know the truth, including the truth about ourselves, we cannot be free.

Finally, if you are at all like I was, you may feel trapped; feeling like God is, in a way, the source of all your distresses (which He is not) and feeling like you need Him out of your life for relief. However, because you know He exists and that Jesus is the Way, you also feel like you do not really have the option nor the capability to walk out and stay peaceful either. Indeed, the only way of escape from religious OCD remains in and through the real Jesus, not the false Jesus that the root cause of scrupulosity has painted in your mind.

Now, roll back your sleeves and get ready to defeat this Goliath through the power of God’s might, leaning and relying on Him all the way. You will have reasons to boast in Jesus once it’s all over. The forthcoming blogs include the essentials the Lord revealed to me that led to my freedom from the root cause of religious OCD and that empowered me to stand my ground thereafter.

 
―Kathleen Kaczmarek